Ministering in Christ's name: Death and dying

Those who are approaching death can benefit from our comforting presence.
The importance of companionship in the final moments of life cannot be emphasized enough. Human presence can greatly impact those approaching death.
The "do's" for visitors to the dying include maintaining a physical presence, respecting conversational pace, and empowering decision-making.
Visitors to the dying should consdiscussing death openly, offering solace through reminiscence, and expressing love without delay.

"The living know that they will die." -- Ecclesiastes 9:5

Here are suggestions on ministry to a dying person

How to be with a dying person

Americans often avoid everything about death, including those who are most rapidly approaching it. That's sad because Barney Spivack, director of Geriatric Medicine for the Stamford (Connecticut) Health System, says, "In all my years of working with dying people, I've never heard one say 'I want to die alone.'" Dying people are comforted by the company of others. The benefit of a visit far outweighs whatever awkwardness there may be.

Six "don'ts" for visitors to the dying

1. Don't stay away.: Get close physically. Sit at eye level. Do not be afraid to touch. The physical presence of another human being is a powerful comfort and source of strength.
2. Don't overpower the person by babbling.: Let the dying person set the conversational pace. Do not be afraid of silence.
3. Don't contradict someone or abruptly change the subject when they say they are going to die.: There is nothing unhealthy about accepting approaching death. So, listen and empathize. Allow the person to express anger, guilt, and/or fear without feeling you are supposed to "fix" things.
4. Don't take over all the decision-making.: Empower the dying person to make decisions for as long as possible. Avoiding talking about unfinished business is not going to postpone death. Ask: "Who can I contact for you?" Remember that we can never tie up all the loose ends in life.
5. Don't avoid talking about the past.: Reminisce about happy memories. Do not suppress laughter just because a doctor has said death is just around the corner.
6. Don't miss opportunities to express love or to say goodbye.: Remember: there may not be a tomorrow.

Based on material in "The Ultimate Emotional Challenge" by Louise Lague, published in "Start the Conversation," a pull-out section in Modern Maturity. Used here under the "fair use" provisions of U.S. copyright law.

Afterword: 10 Things You Can Do When Someone Dies

When someone has died, people turn to practices and beliefs of their faith as the grieve and honor the deceased. Here are ten things Christ-followers do and say in ministry to people grieving the loss of a loved one:

Express condolence to the family and friends of the deceased. Common phrases include "I'm sorry for your loss," "You are in my thoughts and prayers," or "May God give you strength during this difficult time."
Prayer is a big part of Christian mourning. Give thanks to God for the life of the deceased. Pray for comfort and strength for the family and for peace during the grieving process.
Attend the funeral or memorial services to pay respect to the deceased and offer support to the grieving family.
Offer practical support to the bereaved, such as providing meals, helping with household chores, or simply being present to listen and provide emotional support.
Turn to the Bible for scriptures that speak to the hope of eternal life and the promise of being reunited with loved ones in heaven. Passages such as John 14:1-3, Romans 8:38-39, and Revelation 21:4 are often shared for encouragement.
The death of a loved one often causes us to reflect on the brevity of life and the importance of living in accordance with our faith. It can be a time for deepening our relationship with God and evaluating priorities.
While grieving, we also celebrate the life of the deceased, remembering that person's positive qualities, contributions, and impact on others. This can bring comfort and healing amid the sorrow. This can even include making memorial gifts to Christian causes in memory of the deceased.
Pastors and spiritual leaders play a vital role in providing counseling, guidance, and spiritual support to individuals and families coping with loss.
Believers also find solace in joining grief support groups where they can share their experiences, emotions, and struggles with others who are also mourning.
Ultimately, we believe in God's sovereignty. We trust that He is at work in all things for the good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Grieving relatives and friends can lean on their faith and trust in God's comfort and provision.

Acrostic: Minisgry at times of dying and deeath

D -- Deliver comfort through presence and prayer.
E -- Engage with love, listening without judgment.
A -- Assist with practical needs and emotional support.
T -- Teach hope through faith, scripture, and encouragement.
H -- Honor the person's life with remembrance and grace.

Like acrostics? Here are more of them

-- Howard Culbertson,

At what age do Americans become Christian?