Ministering in Christ's name: Death and dying
- Those who are approaching death can benefit from our comforting presence.
- The importance of companionship in the final moments of life cannot be overstated. Human presence can have a profound impact on those approaching death.
- The "do's" for visitors to the dying include maintaining a physical presence, respecting conversational pace, and empowering decision-making.
- Visitors to the dying should consider addressing death openly, offering solace through reminiscence, and expressing love without delay.
"The living know that they will die." -- Ecclesiastes 9:5
Here are suggestions on ministry to a dying person
How to be with a dying person
Americans often avoid everything about death, including those who are most rapidly approaching it. That's sad because Barney Spivack, director of Geriatric Medicine for the Stamford (Connecticut) Health System, says, "In all my years of working with dying people,
I've never heard one say 'I want to die alone.'" Dying people are comforted by the company of others. The benefit of a visit far outweighs whatever awkwardness there may be.
Six "don'ts" for visitors to the dying
- 1. Don't stay away.
- Get close physically. Sit at eye level. Do not be afraid to touch. The physical presence of another human being is a powerful comfort and source of strength.
- 2. Don't overpower the person by babbling.
- Let the dying person set the conversational pace. Do not be afraid of silence.
- 3. Don't contradict someone or abruptly change the subject when they say they are going to die.
- There is nothing unhealthy about accepting approaching death. So, listen and empathize.
Allow the person to express anger, guilt, and/or fear without feeling you are supposed to "fix"
things.
- 4. Don't take over all the decision-making.
- Empower the dying person to make decisions for as long as possible. Avoiding talking about unfinished business is not going to postpone death. Ask: "Who can I contact for you?" Remember that we can never tie up all the loose ends in life.
- 5. Don't avoid talking about the past.
- Reminisce about happy memories. Do not suppress laughter just because a doctor has said death is just around the corner.
- 6. Don't miss opportunities to express love or to say goodbye.
- Remember: there may not be a tomorrow.
Based on material in "The Ultimate Emotional Challenge" by Louise Lague, published in "Start the Conversation," a pull-out section in Modern Maturity. Used here under the "fair use" provisions of U.S. copyright law.
Afterword
When someone has died, Christians turn to practices and beliefs of their faith to navigate the
process of grieving and honoring the deceased. Here are common things Christians do and say in ministry to people grieving the loss of a loved one:
- Express Condolences: Christians often express their
condolences to the family and friends of the deceased. Common phrases include "I'm sorry for
your loss," "You are in my thoughts and prayers," or "May God give you strength during this
difficult time."
- Pray: Prayer is a significant aspect of Christian
mourning. Christians give thanks to God for the life of the deceased. They pray for comfort and
strength for the family, and for peace during the grieving process.
- Attend Funeral or Memorial Services: Christians
attend the funeral or memorial services to pay their respects to the deceased and offer
support to the grieving family.
- Offer Support: Christians offer practical
support to the bereaved, such as providing meals, helping with household chores, or simply being
present to listen and provide emotional support.
- Share Biblical Comfort: Christians find
comfort in scriptures that speak to the hope of eternal life and the promise of being reunited with
loved ones in heaven. Passages such as John 14:1-3, Romans 8:38-39, and Revelation 21:4 are
often shared for encouragement.
- Reflect on Life and Eternity: The death of a loved
one often prompts Christians to reflect on the brevity of life and the importance of living in
accordance with their faith. It can be a time for deepening one's relationship with God and
evaluating priorities.
- Celebrate the Life of the Deceased:While grieving,
Christians also celebrate the life of the deceased, remembering their positive qualities,
contributions, and the impact they had on others. This can bring comfort and healing amidst the
sorrow. This can even include making memorial gifts to Christian causes in memory of the
deceased.
- Pastoral Counseling: Pastors and spiritual leaders
play a vital role in providing counseling, guidance, and spiritual support to individuals and
families coping with loss.
- Participate in Grief Support Groups: Christians also
find solace in joining grief support groups where they can share their experiences,
emotions, and struggles with others who are also mourning.
- Trust in God: Ultimately, Christians believe in
God's sovereignty. They trust that He is at work all in things for good for those who love Him
(Romans 8:28). Grieving relatives and friends lean on their faith and trust in God's comfort
and provision.
-- Howard Culbertson,
At what age do Americans become Christian?
 | Most Americans who become believers make
their decision as a child or early adolescent. [ more ] |
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