Conflict management styles and strategies
What's the best way to deal with conflict?
How to manage conflict between individuals and between groups: Styles,
approaches,
and specific action steps.
Jesus' model for maintaining relationships:
- Don't ignore conflict. Address it.
- Don't abandon conflict. Pursue it to resolution.
- Don't exaggerate conflict. Solve it with as little publicity and public scrutiny as possible.
- Don't fence yourself in when conflict occurs. Stay open to correction and reproof.
- Don't recycle conflict. Once it's resolved, let it go.
&mthe dash; based on material
by
Bruce Barton in "Matthew" section of Life Application Bible Commentary
|
Improving group dynamics when conflict occurs
"I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the
Lord." — Philippians 4:2
Peacemaking: Tips for recognizing and managing conflicts
Team unity: Five conflict-management approaches or techniques
Missionaries get into conflict with each other. Pastors and lay people get into conflict.
Volunteers in ministry organizations find themselves in conflict. Human relations managers in
businesses often find themselves managing situations of interpersonal conflict.
How can you manage disagreements in ways that build personal and collegial relationships
rather than harming them? Such disagreements or conflicts can occur between individuals or
between groups of people. Here are five strategies from conflict management theory for
managing stressful situations. None is them is a "one-size-fits-all" solution. Which one is the
best in a given situation will depend on a variety of factors, including an appraisal of the level of
conflict.
Collaborating
- I win, you win
- Symbol: Owl
- Fundamental premise: Teamwork and cooperation help everyone achieve their goals
while also maintaining relationships.
- Strategic philosophy: The process of working through differences will lead to
creative solutions that will satisfy both parties' concerns.
- When to use:
- When there is a high level of trust
- When you don't want to have full responsibility
- When you want others to also have "ownership" of solutions
- When the people involved are willing to change their thinking as more information is found
and new options are suggested
- When you need to work through animosity and hard feelings
- Drawbacks:
- The process takes lots of time and energy.
- Some may take advantage of other people's trust and openness.
Compromising
- You bend, I bend
- Symbol: Fox
- Fundamental premise: Winning something while losing a little is OK.
- Strategic philosophy: Both ends are placed against the middle in an attempt to serve
the "common good" while ensuring each person can maintain something of their original
position.
- When to use:
- When people of equal status are equally committed to goals
- When time can be saved by reaching intermediate settlements on individual parts of complex
issues
- When goals are moderately important
- Drawbacks:
- Important values and long-term objectives can be derailed in the process
- May not work if initial demands are too great
- Can spawn cynicism, especially if there's no commitment to honor the compromise
solutions
Accommodating
- I lose, you win
- Symbol: Teddy Bear
- Fundamental premise: Working toward a common purpose is more important than
any of the peripheral concerns; the trauma of confronting differences may damage fragile
relationships
- Strategic philosophy: Appease others by downplaying conflict, thus protecting the
relationship
- When to use:
- When an issue is not as important to you as it is to the other person
- When you realize you are wrong
- When you are willing to let others learn by mistake
- When you know you cannot win
- When it is not the right time, and you would prefer to simply build credit for the future
- When harmony is extremely important
- When what the parties have in common is a good deal more important than their
differences
- Drawbacks:
- One's own ideas don't get attention.
- Credibility and influence can be lost.
Competing
- I win, you lose
- Symbol: Shark
- Fundamental premise: Associates "winning" a conflict with competition.
- Strategic philosophy: When goals are extremely important, one must sometimes use
power to win.
- When to use:
- When you know you are right
- When time is short, and a quick decision is needed
- When a strong personality is trying to steamroller you, and you don't want to be taken
advantage of
- When you need to stand up for your rights
- Drawbacks:
- Can escalate conflict
- Losers may retaliate
Avoiding
- No winners, no losers
- Symbol: Turtle
- Fundamental premise: This isn't the right time or place to address this issue
- Strategic philosophy: Avoids conflict by withdrawing, sidestepping, or postponing
- When to use:
- When the conflict is small, and relationships are at stake
- When you're counting to ten to cool off
- When more important issues are pressing, and you feel you don't have time to deal with this
particular one
- When you have no power, and you see no chance of getting your concerns met
- When you are too emotionally involved, and others around you can solve the conflict more
successfully
- When more information is needed
- Drawbacks:
- Important decisions may be made by default.
- Postponing taking action may make matters worse.
"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that
battle within you?" -- James 4:1
Note: This is a do-as-I-say,-not-as-I-do page. Even on my good days, I can
explain how to mediate and resolve conflict better than I can actually do
it. 🙂
-- Howard Culbertson
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group members
Meeting starters Motivation candy
NMI resources
Bread pledge Council president's
checklist Missions leader
survivor kit
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African martyr's commitment Mission trip
fund-raising Ten ways to
ruin your mission trip
Nazarene Missions International resources