I threw my life away

Given by Howard Culbertson at an annual Southern Nazarene University Phi Delta Lambda Honor Society breakfast

She was blond. She was cute. And I was a bit sweet on her. We didn't know each other real well. I had just moved to town the summer before.

I was pushing hard for a 4.0 senior year. I was a National Merit Scholarship finalist, somewhat of an anomaly in Guthrie, Oklahoma. Looking back now, I wonder if the little blonde welcomed my attention because she hoped I would be able to help improve her grade point.

One day we were standing in the hall, leaning against some lockers between classes. She looked at me, batted those long eyelashes and asked me what I planned to do with my life.

"I'm going to be a missionary," I said.

A look of horror crossed her face. "Oh, Howard," she groaned, "don't throw your life away."

It stunned me. The two of us were evidently marching to the beat of different drummers. That day our paths began to part. We were looking for different things in life.

There's some evidence, of course, that little blonde was right. In measuring success, the world and the church use strikingly similar yardsticks:

By such standard gauges of success I've fallen short.Measured by these scales, I've wasted some natural abilities. Some might even say that I've thrown my life away.

Remember those charts high school counselors showed us proving how much more we would earn over a lifetime if we finished college? They showed even more income for a master's degree. For a doctorate it was really impressive. Notwithstanding all that, our family's annual base salary as missionaries was $8,700. We don't rank very well on secular society's success charts.

Some church people, of course, put us up on a pedestal. I occasionally meet some dear saint who just wants to "touch the missionary." Still, a lot of Christians consider us missionaries dated, stodgy and out-of-touch. Perhaps with good reason. When we show up on furlough, I only have one or two suits. The shoes I'm wearing today are one size too large. I can't take them back to the store to exchange them because someone gave them to me rather than taking them to Goodwill.

We're often blissfully unaware of the latest American fads and fashions. We don't know the names of the hottest screen stars. We probably haven't read the latest best-seller . . .at least in English. Many of the things that matter to us seem to matter little to most monocultural, monolingual Americans. People are sometimes a little uncomfortable around us. We've almost become foreigners in our homeland. We just don't fit in.

Thrown my life away? It might seem so. Yet, I'm here today to tell you that I don't feel that way. If the Lord endowed me with particular talents and abilities He did so for Kingdom reasons. He knew where He wanted me to use them in Kingdom business. That's what I've tried to do.

Over the years I've been bewildered by the conflicting signals and orders that can come from within an organization. I've been disturbed by injustices befalling both other people and myself. I've been discouraged at meager results in post-Christian Europe. When few in the homeland seemed to care I've felt very discouraged. Midst the poverty of Haiti I've felt overwhelmed. But I've never had the feeling that I'd thrown my life away. Never. [ e-book on Haiti ]

Instead, I've often been reassured that we're involved in the most momentous enterprise of all time: the completion of the task of world evangelism.

Now: what about you? What are you doing with the mix of gifts and talents God gave you? What are your priorities in the use of your God-given talents and abilities? God has given you creative, intellectual gifts. That you are a member of Phi Delta Lambda is evidence of that. Where are you investing those God-given abilities? Have you put them to work almost exclusively in your own career, in seeking that elusive thing called success? Is your involvement in global evangelism basically a small monetary one, a kindly gesture, "give a little for a good cause"? Is world missions for you just one more good thing that Christians ought to be doing?

I'd like to challenge you to apply some of your best to carrying out the Great commission. Let the Holy Spirit help you begin seeing the world as God sees it. Kingdom work demands the best and the brightest. You're one of those. The Kingdom needs your help.

Down through the years the missionary thrust has had some of the best minds involved in cross-cultural gospel witness. In the heyday of Jesuit missionary outreach some of the best minds in Europe went out as missionaries, men like Matteo Ricci and Ramon Lull.

There are still about two billion people who still are outside the gospel witness. That's an immense number. It need not, however, overwhelm us. Those two billion are in about 10,000 people groups yet to have a church planted in their midst. To carry out the Great Commission we've got to establish a beachhead in those 10,000 people groups. Our own goal as Nazarene missionaries is that every person will soon be able to hear, understand, and receive the good news from a holiness group among his own people. [ more on the unreached ]

Unfortunately, our church has hit a plateau in missions giving and sending. By careful use of limited resources we've been able to continue entering new countries. However, the number of active Nazarene missionaries has been stalled near the 600 level for several years. After adjustments for inflation, missions giving has not risen much in recent years. If we are to regain momentum, carry out our divine mandate for spreading scriptural holiness around the world, we face some momentous problems that call for the best.

Let me plead with you today to apply yourself to solving problems of:

1. Prayer support
If you've been a Nazarene for a long time, you might remember the Prayer and Fasting League. In its heyday, it galvanized Nazarene prayer support for missions. I remember people giving up their lunch hour (and lunch!) on Fridays to gather at the church to pray. People gave twenty-five cents a week for missing a meal. With the passing years, Prayer and Fasting has dropped into misuse. Unfortunately nothing new has arrived to replace it as the energizing force to motivate prayer support for world evangelism.

We've got to find a way to revitalize and inspire prayer support. All great missionary thrusts came from prayer. We need your creative work to start a new wave of prayer backing.
2. Missions Education.
Some say the most boring hour in Nazarene churches is the missionary service or even the global missions moments times. That's tragic. Zone rallies of groups of churches that used to attract great crowds to hear furloughed missionaries have fallen into disuse.

Why? Is it because you've abdicated your responsibility? I call on you to put your creative, intellectual abilities to work re-energizing missionary education in the local church.
3. Fund-raising
The phrase missions budget sticks in people's craw. Budget is a terrible word; it's become almost synonymous with "taxes." "Paying budgets" became such a negative issue that the majority of delegates from affluent North America at a recent Nazarene General Assembly were asked to vote to lower the amounts asked from each local church.

I have a feeling Americans have misunderstood what God is trying to do. When He blesses us materially, it's not because we're such deserving people. He's trying to channel resources through us, use us a an irrigation ditch to get water of life to a thirsty, parched world. We've misunderstood, and have dammed up that irrigation canal to make a lake!

We must find a way to help Nazarenes step out in willing sacrifice in order to contribute more generously to both relief and evangelism.

Such highly successful ideas as Alabaster, Prayer and Fasting, and Work and Witness did not originate from a paid staff person in Headquarters. They came from people like yourself. You must help us recover a balance between continuity and spontaneity in our missions giving.
4. Sellout to secularism and materialism.
The syncretism we decry in other cultures is also undermining the foundations of American Christianity. People have mixed materialism and secularism together with Christianity in a frightful manner. One of the more obvious manifestations is the God-wants-you-rich, health-and-wealth, name-it-and-claim-it gospel. Established life styles, value structures and self-centered priorities that control many Christians lives reek more of worldliness than they manifest God's Kingdom. We need your help in stemming any slide toward a syncretistic surrender.

Please help us solve these pressing problems. Help unleash the explosive potential in our churches. Without your creative gifts we may not be able to carry out Christ's Great Commission. Years ago a cute little blonde thought I was throwing my life away. I don't remember her name. I do, however, remember that Jesus once said that He who seeks to keep His life will lose it. Only those who lose their live will keep it.

Thrown my life away? Yes, I've done that. And I found it again.

Will you join me?

SNU missions course materials and syllabi

Cultural Anthropology    Introduction to Missions    Linguistics    Missions Strategies    Modern Missionary Movement (History of  Missions)    Nazarene Missions    Church Growth and Christian Missions    Theology of Missions    Traditional Religions    World Religions
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Howard Culbertson, 5901 NW 81st, Oklahoma City, OK 73132  |  Phone: 405-740-4149 - Fax: 405-491-6658

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