Why do people drop out of church?

• Conducting exit interviews with church dropouts can help reduce attrition rates.
• Guidelines for conducting exit interviews include asking about the initial attraction to the church, overall impressions, and reasons for leaving. Any hurts or disappointments should be responded to.
• It is important to accept and listen to the viewpoints of those who have left, even if there may be disagreement
• Building relationships and offering understanding can lead to some dropouts returning to the church or helping them find alternative churches if they are not attending anywhere.

Doing exit interviews of church dropouts: Guidelines and suggestions

What can we learn from people who leave our church?

Churches tend to be healthy if they have low attrition rates. Research indicates that more than 60,000 people leave American churches each week and never return. That dropout rate can be reduced, says Lyle Pointer, veteran pastor and church health consultant. He suggests talking to those who have left or dropped out of a local church to learn why they are no longer participating in that congregation's activities. Here are his suggestions and guidelines:

• I ask the Lord to help me keep the relational aspects in sight while I try to keep a lid on my natural defensiveness against criticism.
• I visit those who've left our church. I tell them I need their help in improving our ministry to others. Then, I ask questions such as:
  • What brought you to the church initially?
  • What was or is your overall impression of the church?
  • I noticed your attendance at our church has dropped off (Or I hear you may be worshiping elsewhere). Can you help me know how you are feeling about your relationship with our church?
  • How did you decide to leave our church? What was some of your thinking?
  • If you are feeling hurt/disappointed/angry, what can I do to soften that a bit?
• I tell them I regret we were unable to be what they needed us to be.
• I reassure them I will accept what they say and not argue with their opinions.
• I make sure they know I have heard them (although I may disagree with them).
• I thank them for telling me how they feel.
• If I think they could still be a part of our fellowship, I tell them they have not burned any bridges with me or the congregation. I want them to know they are welcome back anytime.
• I pray a blessing on them.
• If they are not attending church anywhere, I will suggest one or more churches in the area that I think have the best chance of ministering to them. I try to stay in contact with this family until they settle in with another church or return to ours.

I estimate that 20-25% have returned to our church because they felt concern being expressed and understanding being offered.

   -- Lyle Pointer

Why do people leave a church?

In his book Exit Interviews: Revealing Stories of Why People Are Leaving Church, Bill Hendricks noted that tens of thousands of Americans each week decide to drop out of a church where they have regularly participated.

-- Howard Culbertson,

10 Reasons Why People Drop Out of Church

There can be numerous reasons why people drop out of church. Here are some common ones:

1. Sometimes, people feel that the teachings or practices of the church are not relevant to their lives or struggles.
2. People find themselves at odds with certain church doctrines or teachings. That leads them to disengage.
3. Witnessing hypocrisy or inconsistency among church members or leaders can cause disillusionment and lead people to leave.
4. During times of personal crisis or loss, people may feel abandoned or neglected by the church community. That lead them to distance themselves.
5. People today struggle to find time for church activities in addition to work, family, and other commitments.
6. Encountering judgmental attitudes, discrimination, or abuse within a church congregation can cause people to drop out.
7. Some people experience doubts about their faith or encounter intellectual challenges that lead them to question or abandon theirfaith.
8. Cultural shifts and changing social norms may influence people to question or reject traditional religious institutions.
9. If someone doesn't feel a sense of belonging or connection within the church community, they may go elsewhere in search of a more supportive environment.
10. Some people leave churches to examine other spiritual paths or to practice spirituality independently.