Bible trivia and jokes

Bible trivia jokes: A little humor from an e-mail floating around the Internet

Question: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Answer: Noah -- he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Question: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
Answer: Pharaoh's daughter -- she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little profit (oops, that should read "prophet").
Question: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Answer: Ruth-less.
Question: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
Answer: Nebuchadnezzar -- he was on grass for seven years.
Question: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
Answer: Yahweh drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
2 Corinthians 4:8 describes a group traveling in a Volkswagen Bug: "We are hard pressed on every side."
Question: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Answer: Samson -- he brought the house down (Judges 16:30).
Question: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
Answer: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Question: How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:23-24)?
Answer: They were really put out.
Question: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
Answer: They really raised Cain.
Question: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Answer: "Your mother ate us out of house and home" (Genesis 3:6).
Question: The ark was built in 3 stories. The top one had a window to let in light. How did the bottom two stories get light?
Answer: They used floodlights.
Question: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: David -- he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Question: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
Answer: The thought had never entered his head before.
Question: If Goliath would come back to life today, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
Answer: No, he already fell for it once.
Question: What is the best way to get to Paradise?
Answer: Turn right and go straight.
Question: Which of Yahweh's servants was the Bible's most flagrant lawbreaker?
Answer: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
Question: Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy?
Answer: The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing.
Question: How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
Answer: Because Job 16:12 says: "All was well with me, but . . . he seized me by the neck"
Question: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Question: Which Bible character had no parents?
Answer: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Question: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
Answer: He only had two worms.
to top of pageQuestion: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
Answer: Because Noah sat on the deck

Some serious trivia about the Psalms

Question: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 117
Question: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 119
Question: As far as chapter count goes, which chapter is in the center of the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 118

10 Ways the Bible Would Be Different If Written By College Students

10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning -- cold.
9. The Ten Commandments would have been only five; they would have been double-spaced and written in a large font.
8. The Bible would have come out in a new edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
7. The reason the forbidden fruit would have been eaten was because it wasn't cafeteria food.
6. Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.
5. The reason Cain would have killed Abel: They were roommates.
4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.
2. Reason why Moses and followers would have wandered in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

What was Adam's last name?

Was Adam's last name Tate? It may have been. Churches are full of people named Tate. [ read more ]

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Howard Culbertson, 5901 NW 81st, Oklahoma City, OK 73132  |  Phone: 405-740-4149 - Fax: 405-491-6658
Copyright © 2002 - Last Updated: January 12, 2015 | URL: http://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/trivia.htm

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Article by Howard Culbertson. For more original content like this, visit: http://home.snu.edu/~hculbert