"The problem of our churches is that our Samsons -- the folk who could have been mighty for God -- blindly grope under the domination of the world. They have no joy, no testimony; they live in a world of bitter sorrow and regret."
Could it have been Tate?
Adam and Eve's last name may have been Tate. I say that because churches are filled with members of the Tate family. Here's a humorous look at the Tate family members that may go to your church:
There's old man Dic Tate. He wants to run everything.
Poten Tate wants to be a big shot.
Uncle Ro Tate tries to change everything. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" is not one of his favorite proverbs.
Miss Tate is a single cousin who always trips over her tongue.
Mu Tate is a strange person.
Sister Agi Tate is always stirring up trouble, helped along by her husband, Irri Tate.
Decapi Tate is even worse. It doesn't matter who's leading the church or one of its programs. He's always after whoever is in charge.
Debili Tate seems to cripple every good move the pastor makes.
Whenever someone proposes a new project or event, it's impossible to get Hesi Tate or his wife, Vege Tate, interested. They always want to wait at least until next year.
Regurgi Tate always wants to bring something up again for a new vote.
Resusci Tate breathes new life into the church.
The twins Anno and No Tate keep copious records of business meetings.
There's Aunt Imi Tate who thinks her pastor ought to preach like her favorite TV preacher. She's also like for our music to be like that at a church she visited.
Devas Tate provides the voice of doom. He thinks he has the gift of prophecy.
No one has seen Apos Tate for a while. She just dropped out of sight.
Gravi Tate transferred her membership in from a neighboring church because she likes our preacher better. When a pastoral change comes along, she'll probably start looking around for another church.
Fortunately, there's Brother Facili Tate who is always helpful.
One happy, delightful member is Miss Felici Tate.
While cousins Cogi Tate and Medi Tate always need to think things over; they are sure to lend helpful, steady hands.
Mili Tate always jumps in, ready to work.
Rehabili Tate helps run the church's activities.
One member of the family introduces himself like this: "My name is PO TATE. I have all daughters.What more do you need to know? I am married to my SWEET TATEr. My oldest daughter is my Spud. My youngest daughter is my TATER TOT."
The family even has a black sheep: Ampu Tate. He has completely cut himself off from the church because of some relatively minor (in terms of Kingdom values) dispute.
Thanks to James Tate who gave me several additions to my original list. Do you know of any other members of the Tate family that I could add? E-mail me your Tate family jokes.
|Why join a church? In particular, why join a Church of the Nazarene? [ read more ]|
Howard Culbertson, Southern Nazarene University, 6729 NW 39th, Bethany, OK 73008 | Phone: 405-491-6693 - Fax: 405-491-6658
Copyright © 2000, 2001 - Last Updated: August 22, 2012 | URL: http://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/tate.htm