Why do people drop out of church?
- Conducting exit interviews with church dropouts can help
reduce attrition rates.
- Guidelines for conducting exit interviews include asking about
the initial attraction to the church, overall impressions, and reasons for leaving. Any hurts or
disappointments should be addressed.
- It is important to accept and listen to the perspectives of those
who have left, even if there may be disagreement
- Building relationships and offering understanding can lead to some dropouts returning to the
church or helping them find alternative churches if they are not attending anywhere.
Doing exit interviews of church dropouts: Guidelines and suggestions
What can we learn from people who leave our church?
Churches tend to be healthy if they have low attrition rates. Research indicates that more than
60,000 people leave American churches each week and never return. That
dropout rate can be reduced, says Lyle Pointer, veteran pastor and church health consultant. He
suggests talking to those who have left or dropped out of a local church to learn why they are no
longer participating in that congregation's activities. Here are his suggestions and guidelines:
- I ask the Lord to help me keep the relational aspects in sight while I try to keep a lid on
my natural defensiveness against criticism.
- I visit those who've left our church. I tell them I need their help in improving our ministry
to others. Then, I ask questions such as:
- What brought you to the church initially?
- What was or is your overall impression of the church?
- I noticed your attendance at our church has dropped off (Or I hear you may be worshiping
elsewhere). Can you help me know how you are feeling about your relationship with our
church?
- How did you decide to leave our church? What was some of your thinking?
- If you are feeling hurt/disappointed/angry, what can I do to soften that a bit?
- I tell them I regret we were unable to be what they needed us to be.
- I reassure them I will accept what they say and not argue with their perspective.
- I make sure they know I have heard them (although I may disagree with them).
- I thank them for telling me how they feel.
- If I think they could still be a part of our fellowship, I tell them they have not burned any
bridges with me or the congregation. I want them to know they are welcome back anytime.
- I pray a blessing on them.
- If they are not attending church anywhere, I will suggest one or more churches in the
area that I think have the best chance of ministering to them. I try to stay in contact with this
family until they settle in with another church or return to ours.
I estimate that 20-25% have returned to our church because they felt concern being
expressed and understanding being offered.
-- Lyle Pointer
Why do people leave a church?
In his book Exit Interviews: Revealing Stories of Why People Are Leaving
Church, Bill Hendricks noted that tens of thousands of Americans each week decide to
drop out of a church where they have regularly participated.
-- Howard Culbertson,
Why People Drop Out of Church
There can be numerous reasons why people drop out of church. Here are some common
ones:
- Perceived Lack of Relevance: Sometimes people feel
that the teachings or practices of the church are not relevant to their lives or struggles.
- Disagreement with Beliefs: People find themselves at
odds with certain church doctrines or teachings. That leads them to disengage.
- Hypocrisy in the Church: Witnessing hypocrisy or
inconsistency among church members or leaders can cause disillusionment and lead people to
leave.
- Personal Crisis: During times of personal crisis or
loss, some people may feel abandoned or neglected by the church community, prompting them to
distance themselves.
- Busy Lifestyle: In today's fast-paced world, people
struggle to find time for church activities amidst work, family, and other commitments.
- Negative Experiences: Encountering judgmental
attitudes, discrimination, or abuse within the church can drive people away.
- Intellectual Doubts: Some people experience doubts
about their faith or encounter intellectual challenges that lead them to question or abandon their
faith.
- Social Trends: Cultural shifts and changing social
norms may influence people to question or reject traditional religious institutions.
- Lack of Community: If someone doesn't feel a sense
of belonging or connection within the church community, they may choose to leave in search of a
more supportive environment.
- Spiritual Exploration: Some individuals leave the
church to explore other spiritual paths or to practice spirituality independently.
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