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Intro to Bib Lit
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Why BibLit?
Memory passages
Bible reading assignments
Weekly reports
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Grading criteria
Canaan's strategic location
Bible in 50 words
15 key Bible chapters
Old Testament book order
Reversing Biblical illiteracy
Famous sayings
How to study the Bible
Text of 10 Commandments
Questions answered by OT
Bible story line
Humor
Trivia
An ax and two 38s
Bloopers
Samsonites
Internet links
Exam study guides
Want more out of life?
10/40 Window
Searching for God's will?
An African
martyr's statement on commitment
Mission trip fund raising
10 ways to ruin mission trips
Youth in Mission
Biblical Perspectives course resources
Linking to me
Some of these Bible story bloopers were wandering anonymously around the Internet. Several come from Richard Lederer's Anguished English, © 1987. Those which did are used by permission.
In the first book of the bible, Guinness, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.
Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked: "Am I my brother's son?"
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears.
God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. One of Jacob's son, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
The seventh commandment is: Thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was a taximan.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
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Howard Culbertson, Southern Nazarene University, 6729 NW 39th, Bethany, OK 73008 | Phone: 405-491-6693 - Fax: 405-491-6658
Copyright © 2000, 2001 - Last Updated: September 13, 2007 | URL: http://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/bloopers.htm